Tag Archives: movie

C

23 Oct

I am that I tiger.

Wow. It’s crazy how far we’ve come, isn’t it? I mean, take a look.

We started with that review of that one movie with the dolls. Then, I said something I’d like to take back, and got lazy, and didn’t post for some time. After that, I came back and told a story, turned into more of a weirdo than usual. Then there was this poorly edited version of something I wrote, followed by another poorly edited version of something I wrote that is now way different, even in terms of plot, time periods, character development, dialogue, etc. So much stuff!

Man, what else did we do? Ah, that’s right! We went on a journey together, and you heard my voice and it was awkward. I wrote a bad ending, and watched an adequate show so you didn’t have to. We followed a goat, examined terrorism, false advertised, discussed knowledge, stayed up late, talked about you, got pissed about abortion, started, got pissed about each other (or I guess it was just me being a bitch or whatever), got pissed about some superhero movie, analyzed characters. Hell, we even got you to want to follow me on Twitter less than you already did! Oh, and something about 9/11, and loving you.

I think the last thing we discussed was racism, and I’ve been away a while. Don’t worry, I’m not disappearing. I just wanted to make sure I did something special for our hundredth time together. I couldn’t come up with much, honestly. Just remembering the good times with the Legendary Heroes and whatnot.

Okay, I guess that’s everything. Here’s something to read before you go to bed, or when you wake up, or whenever. Oh, and here’s a list.

Goodnight/good morning/good evening/good space/you all need to play Beyond: Two Souls.

 

~D.

C

P.S. – I think I left out something, but I feel like I shouldn’t talk about it for some reason.

 

P.P.S. – Look at this tiger.

“Man of Steel” Was Terrigood

2 Aug

It sucked. It was great.

Yeah, it’s late. I didn’t time this with the release of the movie. Why? Because I’m busy, ya hear? I’m working. I talk to you when I feel like it. Some day I’ll do it more often, but for now you’ll just have to be patient. For now, you’ll have to deal with whatever crap I throw out, whenever I throw it out.

Anyway, yeah, Superman, Man of Steel, pretty good movie. It could use some work, a lot actually. But more on that in a bit. First the good stuff. And yes, this is chock full of spoilers, so for those who don’t want any, here’s my review to you: go see it, make up your own damn mind. Sound good? Great. Let’s fly on over to Krypton for the opening scene.

Russel Crowe is a good actor.

THE BEGINNING: The opening of Man of Steel is good, if a bit brief. Krypton is dying, General Zod has launched a coup against the planet’s government, and Jor-El, father of Kal-El, is making a desperate attempt to keep his naturally born son alive. What you have to understand is, on Krypton, natural births aren’t normal. Children are bred for very specific purposes, and so they do not have the mental faculty of choice. Therefore, they are wholly determined to do whatever is necessary in order to further their “programmed” purpose. Kal-El, due to the nature of his origin, can make his own choices. This is what makes him unique. He could be a hero or a villain, a savior or a conquer, a liberator or a tyrant, or a nobody who never becomes an important part of history at all. He has a choice, and, even though we know what he’ll decide to do in the end, it’s still interesting to see how he goes about making that “life choice.”

But more about the opening. Krypton is a beautiful place, and I was surprised by how much time we spent there. Even though it’s dying, it still has this life to it that comes across great visually. The creatures and weaponry, as well as the communication devices, are all really unique in terms of design, a credit to the effects team and Snyder.

As for the actors, I thought Russel Crowe and Ayelet Zurer did a great job as Jor-El and Lara. I don’t this whole thing on Crowe being “bland and monotone.” I mean, he seemed pretty natural to me the entire time. He was just being a normal guy from Krypton, getting angry and smiling when it made sense for such things to occur. I think some critics just want everyone to have too much emotion nowadays, when, in truth, some people just don’t work that way. Some people are actually, you know, normal.

As you would imagine, being a Superman reboot, Kal-El is fired away to Earth, Jor-El dies (killed by Zod here) and the coup is put down. The coup’s participants are imprisoned while the planet burns. Now, I know a lot of people think this doesn’t make sense, but honestly, I have to disagree for a number of reasons. To me, watching your entire planet swallow itself whole is a fate worse than death. To be forced to live in darkness forever while the place you were bred to protect rots away is a terrible thing. So, for me anyway, that wasn’t a problem.

Now, Earth.

The boy who lived.

THE LIFE OF CLARK KENT: Okay, so we cut right to a mature, bearded “Clark Kent,” working on a fishing boat. He sees a burning oil rig in the distance and swims there, busts in and saves a bunch of people. And here’s where my first problem comes in: they all see him doing supernatural things. The reason this is a problem for me is the fact that, later in the movie (earlier in Clark’s life), we see him hold back on using his powers because his father wanted to keep them a secret, because he thought the world wasn’t ready. He was obeying his father’s wishes, being a good son. Now, that’s all fine and dandy, but then why THE HELL is he using them RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN to save a bunch of STRANGERS? IT MAKES NO SENSE, and it completely negates to reasoning behind his previous sacrifice. Why didn’t he just say, “Screw it,” and do the same thing for his father when he had the chance? And why is he having a debate later on in the movie about showing the world his powers? He seemed pretty okay with it not long ago!

So yeah, the rig scene kind of pisses me off. My guess is either Jon Peters stepped in and said, “We need more explosions and superpowers in the beginning,” or story writer Christopher Nolan went all Dark Knight Rises on us and forgot that doing things just because they feel “more dramatic” isn’t always the smartest thing to do. That’s one thing that concerns me about Nolan. I’ve praised him in the past, but I’m starting to get a George Lucas vibe from him, like his ego may be getting to him. We’ll look at his future films and see what happens.

Now, even though I just freaked out about how crappy this section is, the next bit is pretty good. We essentially get a back and forth between present Clark and young Clark, watching him grow older, and watching what his growth has led him to. One of my favorite scenes in the movie has got to be when Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) is showing his son what he really is. When he shows the boy the ship, and they have their back and forth about how big everything is and how small everything is and all that boring philosophy and whatnot, it’s really touching. And I know this line’s in the trailer, but I still love it every time I hear Kent say, “You are my son.” Chills, every time.

Next, we get a bit of a weird coincidence. The homeless hitchhiker, Clark Kent, SOMEHOW manages to get a job with the exact team that is looking for frozen Cold War subs in the exact same place the Fortress of Solitude is (I know it’s a little different in this, but I’m still calling it that), that ALSO happens to have Lois Lane working them. Okay, I’m well aware that in real life strange coincidences like this happen, but that’s a LOT of things that we’re just expected to be all like, “Eh, okay,” about. Thank God Richard Schiff is here to save the day. He’s playing a scientist because, you know, he’s fucking Richard Schiff.

Clark discovers the Fortress, and has to save Lois from some robots. He does so, and the Fortress flies away so Ghost Jor-El can get through some exposition. It’s actually pretty cool, learning Krypton’s history and all, and also learning how our villains will come into play. After that Clark basically becomes Superman. Which leads us to our next section…

KNEEEEEEEL!

METROPOLIS: So, Superman come home, and it’s all good, but then Zod’s all like, “Let me tap into every T.V. screen in the world and show you how awesome I am.” And, honestly, this scene gave me chills. The way they left this eerie static hanging for a while before the message actually began was chilling. And the way it began with that simple phrase repeated over and over, “You are not alone,” was haunting. So yeah, Zod’s entrance was pretty cool.

Now, here’s where another problem comes in. In order to gain advance about what to do here Clark decides, instead of talking to Ghost Jor-El, who knows everything about what Zod is capable of and how to beat him, he’s going to go see some random priest we neither know nor care about for advice. This leads to a gigantic battle wherein nearly all of Metropolis, the main city in the Superman series, is destroy and tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of people, are killed. The entire last half of the movie could have been prevented had Clark gone to Ghost Jor-El. Instead we get more of this Jon Peters nonsense with a forced, awkward romantic scene between Lois and Superman as Zod arrives, and both of them turning themselves in.

So, Lois, through the use of this little metallic key (if you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about), talks to Ghost Jor-El. And, WOULDN’TCHA KNOW IT, he knows how to beat Zod. So, while Superman escapes (with Lois) and fights Zod, she and the military get a phantom bomb ready to lock all the bad guys away.

The action here LOOKS badass. The effects team did an excellent job making the destruction and death appear realistic on screen. However, it became too much for me after a while, and I started going, “Okay, I got it, buildings collapse when you fly through them. Can we move on?”

Anyway, Zod gets his turn Earth into Krypton machine set up and the phantom bomb is almost ready. Now, to those who think Zod’s an idiot for wanting to turn Earth into Krypton instead of trying to rule it with his newly acquired superpowers (he gets them from being on Earth), you obviously need to take a better look at Zod psychologically. Remember how everyone on Krypton was practically brainwashed into a certain behavioral pattern? Well, Zod was bred to protect and defend Krypton at all costs. After watching it burn, he failed to do so. However, in turning Earth into Krypton, he would be fulfilling that purpose, the very one which was basically drilled into his brain at birth. It’s an insane thought process to us due to our ability to choose. Zod has not choice, and that’s what makes him, to me, such a compelling character. I actually sympathized more for him than I did Superman in this movie. All he wanted to do was save his home, and he  couldn’t do ANYTHING else with his life.

So yeah, I like Zod. And I like his machine. And I like how it’s set up at opposite ends of the world, splitting our leads apart. Yeah, Lois going on the mission with them makes no sense, but that’s Jon Peters again (if not Nolan). “We need tension with Lois! GIVE HER A MILITARY UNIFORM AND LET HER RIDE THE AEROPLANE!” Superman beats the bolts out of this tentacle monster thing (weird) and destroy the first half of the doomsday device, leaving the last bit in Metropolis.

In the city, Richard Schiff saves the day with the phantom bomb and Lois is falling. Kal-El catches her and leaves her on the ground so he can have a final showdown with Zod.

I would like to interject, before I go on, that this chick

Her...

is pretty cool. Okay, moving on.

The showdown with Zod is cool, but the point where he explains his motives, to me, is unnecessary. That’s all stuff I got just from the fact that he was doing what he was doing. It damaged the subtlety of the conflict a little. What made up for it? When Superman killed him.

Yeah, he kills Zod.

I know this is a topic of hot debate, but I’m personally on the side of, “He was forced to do it, but those people could have easily gotten out of the way.” He would’ve eventually had to kill him though, because Zod wasn’t locked away in the phantom bomb’s blast. He wouldn’t have stopped. Something had to be done.

So yeah, I’m for the death of Zod. Bring on the hate mail.

Right, or easy, your choice.

OVERALL: I realize that I’ve been switching between past and present tense throughout this. It’s late. I’m tired. Forgive such minor flaws in the face of my final verdict: Man of Steal was “terrigood.” I liked it. I’d see it again with friends (not alone). There were many problems, big problems even, but that doesn’t stop me from realizing what good there is throughout the film. When that final moment comes in and Jonathan Kent sees his boy donning that red cape, I get chills. So much care was put into that little moment, that little bit. It gives me hope that the next one won’t be so bad.

It’s not perfect, but it’s art, for sure. It may not be a classic, but it’s still a Superman movie worth watching. Go see it. Make your own damn mind up.

By the way, how in the hell is Batman going to even lay a finger on this guy? What, is he going to team up with Lex Luther and use Krypto…

…no way. That’s not a bad…

Him and Him?

~D.

My Thoughts On The Tourist

28 Dec

Too-long-didn’t-read version: boring, don’t watch it. If you’d like some depth, proceed with reading.

Okay, so you may have noticed that just about every review I’ve ever done is pretty positive. This will officially be my first negative one. I am reviewing:

So, where should I begin? Okay, let’s start with a weak storyline. Angelina Jolie plays the lover of a dude named Alexander Pierce who cheated a gangster and is on the run. The lover is assigned the duty of making Pierce’s trail cold by leading the people hunting him after a dude who looks like him. Ultimately, Jolie’s character and this stranger (who is a tourist played by Johnny Depp) develop a romantic relationship, and then we discover that Jolie is a spy. Wait, what? Okay, so the idea then is that Jolie all along was an agent who was supposed to keep watch over Mr. Pierce, and they fell in love, and now she’s been kicked out of her agency (and maybe I’m hard of hearing or something, but it was never made clear which agency she worked for, just that they were British). So, there’s the story. Interested? Don’t be, it sucks. Trust me when I say there’s only one good moment and I won’t spoil it. I’ll just let you know you’ll have to sit through the entire movie to get to it.

Okay, so next I’ll go over the romance. Let me just start this flop of a film. Some of the stuff that happened was just unbearable. I mean, this was really corny stuff. There were sequences where all I could do was think of the incredible Battle: Los Angeles trailer beforehand to keep my mind off of them. I really just didn’t enjoy them at all. Maybe a bit when Jolie wasn’t talking, but everything else was just bad.

While watching Depp I could tell he was at least trying. He’s never terrible, but this didn’t exactly strengthen my faith in him picking good movies(or his agent, anyway). Alice in Wonderland, and now this? Jesus, I hope the next Pirates of the Caribbean doesn’t suck. I will admit that there were some things the guy did that made me crack up (there’s a rooftop chase scene that was great). His accent was a bit off, seeing as he kept interchanging between American and English (ugh…), but aside from that he was okay.

I’ve decided the if you look two paragraphs up you’ll already be able to deduce my review of Jolie’s performance. Let’s just say (and this may sound wrong, but I only speak the truth) that the only good thing about it was the fact the cinematographer had a thing for her posterior. Ah, yes, that was nice.

The music was at times cool, but at times just terrible and corny. When the two kissed (in a dream mind you) the orchestra boomed in such a way it made you cringe with embarrassment. However, the music and mood did match at some points, and when it did it matched well.

Now, there’s the matter of the ending, which I mentioned earlier was actually good. The last few scenes before the film’s epilogue are quite enjoyable and actually a bit tense. And there’s a neat twist that made me go, “Oh, wow!” That was out loud by the way. So, I might argue that if you’re really feeling it you could stick out through the movie just for the end.

So, overall, The Tourist is rather odd, and boring, and cheesy. It isn’t a great film, and it isn’t even a relatively good film either. However, despite it’s shortcomings, that ending is pretty worthwhile, so I’ll just say it’s an okay movie. But it’s just clinging on the edge of okay, like the forth Indiana Jones movie. It may be worthwhile to people who like cheese, but I don’t. I like chicken, lots of chicken, and you’ll do better going to see a movie like The Social Network (which I haven’t seen but can safely assume is good) or Tron: Legacy (same as before, should be good).

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

27 Dec

Hey everybody! I know it’s been an enormously long time since I’ve posted (mostly because I’ve been busy writing), but I’m back for a while with great news: CHRISTMAS WAS AWESOME!

Okay, so first there’s the gifts my siblings got: my little brother got a brand new Toshiba gaming laptop with a slick screen and top of the line graphics card, Fable III Collector’s Edition, some other really cool video games, an ultralight, extremely durable remote controlled helicopter (from yours truly), and a lot of candy!

My younger sister got an incredible amount of toys, an amount way too high to count. I mean, it’s unbelievable how many toys she got, it’s ridiculous. You know that awesome toy you saw the last time you were at Toys ‘R’ Us, that one? Yeah, she has it. Oh, and she also got her first bike!

Then there’s my parents, who got some cool sci-fi books, some cookies, hugs, tools (from sis’, for Dad), cooking supplies (from me, for Mom), and some video games (Mom got Mass Effect 2).

My grandmother received some nice presents as well, one of the key ones (also from me (sorry)) being her Steamboat Willy snow globe, as well as Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury (incredible book).

Lastly, there’s me. I got a new Toshiba gaming laptop (awesome), tools (awesome), a new basketball (awesome), Shutter Island and Inception (I’ve reviewed both on the blog, go look for those write-ups), Fallout: New Vegas (decent, so far), an Epic Mickey t-shirt (but not the game), Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II Collector’s Edition (haven’t played yet) and some other stuff that I for some reason can’t remember off the top of my head. Ah well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have reviews of Killing Floor and New TF2 up soon. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

My Thoughts On Inception

19 Jul

Some people might be upset that Christopher Nolan isn’t working on Batman 3, or whatever it’ll be called, right now. After seeing Inception however, I must say that anyone with that mindset shall forgive Mr. Nolan graciously. He truly has done a wonderful thing here. I’ll break it down into a few parts: plot (no spoilers), effects, cast, and the overall verdict. So now, let us dive into the dream world and let reality take a back seat to it.

THE PLOT: There’s two main concepts of importance in Inception. The first is extraction, which is essentially when a group of people go into a person’s dream, steal an idea of theirs, and then sell it to somebody or use it for espionage related purposes. The main character, Cobb, is one of the best (if not the best) extractors in the world. He’s very good at his job.

Then there is the seemingly impossible inception, which is where an idea is “implanted” into a person’s mind. The idea is that an idea simply can’t be drilled into someone’s head, but that he must be given something along the lines of the idea and come to the conclusion of the idea himself (I said “idea” a lot there, didn’t I?). It is a lot harder than just going into a person’s dream and doing that though. One must go into the actual person’s mind, and to do this is quite tricky. You’ll have to see the movie to find out how Cobb pulls it off, if he pulls it off.

One might wonder why Cobb would have to pull off such a difficult job. Well, you see, his home is in America. He can’t get back right now though because he’s in a bit of a mix up. It is believed that he is the man who murdered his own wife. He was framed, but that time has passed now. All he wants is to go home, and to do that he must pull off an inception for a very powerful man who promises a way out for Cobb. Cobb accepts the job and begins to assemble a powerful and loyal team to help him accomplish his task. And that’s a brief statement of the plot.

It’s definitely a movie for an intelligent type. I’m not saying the “average Joe” couldn’t watch it, although I must admit I saw quite a few confused faces exiting the theater. It starts off a bit confusing, but half the fun of the movie is trying to  figure out what happened at the beginning. Before I move onto the effects I want to congratulate any writers, namely Nolan, who worked on this thing. Just from watching it I can tell how hard it was to create such an elaborate story, and how it hard it must have been to pitch it to a producer. Well done.

THE SPECIAL EFFECTS: Holy crap were the effects in this movie fantastic. Some of the stuff that you see the team do during the inception is just badass. And some of the “dreamy” environments totally blew me away. There is one scene that I won’t spoil for you, but it is probably one of the most well done hallway fight scenes ever. It’s a hallway where the gravity of the room is constantly shifting from the floor, to a wall, to the ceiling, to another wall, and back again. It’s just great.

One thing I’d like to point out is how hard it is presently to “wow” me with effects anymore (ever since Avatar came out). I must say though, these effects were top notch and Christopher Nolan definitely did some great directing. How well timed everything was is just stupendous.

THE CAST: Talk about an awesome casting director! Holy crap was this some cast. It was like the cast of an Ocean’s movie. Everyone played their roles very well. If I had to pick favorites, which is hard because everybody did a great job, I’d say DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page and Tom Hardy did the best out of the whole cast. However I must give props to Cillian Murphy, whom I did not expect to care about that much in the movie (you’ll see why when you watch it). Great job to the whole cast though. I loved everybody in this friggin’ movie. Except Mal, but she’s the villain so I’m supposed to hate her (no but Marion Cotillard did a good job).

THE OVERALL VERDICT: Though one must definitely be thinking a bit while watching this movie, Inception is an awesome ride. I must inform anybody hoping for a perfectly logical film of something very important: it’s a dream. Nothing is supposed to make sense in terms of physics and such. Dreams are illogical, and that’s what makes some moments in the movie so good.

If you haven’t seen Inception yet, you should go check it out right now. It’s well worth full price, and has an ending that’ll send chills down your spine (the good kind). I love it. And even though it’s as long as The Dark Knight, you won’t be getting that feeling of, “it should’ve ended way back there.” I was sucked in and never bored. I’m sure that most of you readers will enjoy it. I know I did.

My Thoughts On Toy Story 3

12 Jul

When I saw the first trailer for Toy Story 3 I became very nervous that PIXAR was about to make their one flop. Then when I actually saw the movie I was reminded tat PIXAR doesn’t make flops. The third movie in this trilogy (and yes, it is the last one) is probably the best PIXAR movie I’ve seen to date next to Up (and I don’t say that lightly) and is one of the better films of the year. If I was to make a list of the best 100 movies of the past decade, this would have to be on it. I won’t spoil too much, but I will give you enough data to be able to call this a review.

First I just want to make it known that if you’ve seen the first two Toy Story movies, then you will absolutely love the opening scene of Toy Story 3. I’m not going to tell you what it is, but it’s phenomenal what they do with elements from the first film, as well as the second film. It’s very charming to see how much PIXAR cares about their fans who grew up with the series (the first one came out the year I was born).

Next, there’s the plot. I won’t say much, but it’s very surprising and dark for a “kiddie” movie. The cover is that Andy, the owner of the toys from the movies, is now seventeen and is heading off to college. He hasn’t been playing with his old toys for some time, and at first decides to put them all up in his attic and take Woody with him off to college (he’s a special toy). However, after a series of coincidences (that are a bit complex and hard to explain in a review without spoilers), all of the toys end up being donated to a daycare called Sunnyside.

Upon arriving at the daycare the toys at first believe they’ve entered a paradise where they’ll always be played with. Soon enough, however, they discover that the kids who will be playing with them aren’t exactly “mature enough” to use them correctly, and are tortured roughly by the new children. Not only that but the entire daycare is ruled under an iron fist by a toy who shall remain nameless at this time. The basic goal of the toys in this film is to escape from this “prison daycare” and get back to Andy’s house where they belong.

That’s a very brief description of what Toy Story 3 is. I don’t want to say too much, as you may have noticed, for the very reason that the effect you will feel while watching it will be ruined overall if I tell you too much. That’s the truth. I can tell you this much though, I don’t usually get affected very much by movies, especially animated movies. In this one, I friggin’ cried. Yeah, I’ll admit it. I got all watery-eyed at the end. It’s a beautiful movie, honestly. It’s absolutely hilarious and well worth the full price. There’s no cheap gags or anything like you’ll see in most movies made by Dreamworks. It’s a nice ride, and I’ll gladly go on it again, and again, and again, and…

My Thoughts On Shutter Island

21 Feb

The premise of Shutter Island is fairly easy to describe. Teddy Daniels and his partner Chuck are on a ferry to Shutter Island, a maximum security prison for the criminally insane. They are there to investigate a mystery. Apparently a prisoner by the name of Rachael Solando escaped from her cell while it was locked from the outside, the window was barred, and there were several guards outside. How did she escaped? Did they find her? You’ll have to see the movie to find out.

Shutter Island’s presentation isn’t scary, but it does definitely creep you out. Chills ran down my spine as they entered the facility, knowing right away that this place wasn’t haunted by monsters or ghosts, or anything supernatural, but the very people running it. The visual style was very eerie and always left me with a sort of wide-eyed look on my face. The story is very gripping and keeps you sucked in the entire time. And the plot twist at the end is so mind-boggling, you’re sure to see it again just to understand it.

Shutter Island isn’t for everybody. You’d better be at least a bit smart because of how complex and diverse the story is. It’s a mystery, not a horror film. For any who believed that it might be the case, do not let the trailers mislead you. Shutter Island is smart, sometimes funny, and has an ending that makes you wonder just what did happen next, as if a sequel could come (though I’m sure one won’t). It’s well worth full price.