Tag Archives: kids


26 Jun


It means “start.”

A few years ago I published a novel called Beginning, a multi-perspective account of a war between two powerful nations in Earth’s far future. The novel is about to be re-released and, in celebration of that, I am now going to show you the first three chapters of it. It may seem weird and a little hard to understand at first, but you’ll get it. You’re smart. You have to be smart if you read this blog. It’s always been that way.

You’re smart, that’s why you knew what initium meant before I even told you. What was that again? Oh, that’s right…



Here be the chapters three.




7 Apr

Jack is white.

Ann unedditid centance cann ruen ann artecul. I’m not kidding. People can read one and immediately think, “Well, I know where this is going.” And they do, don’t they? They know exactly where it’s testicles, because they’re psychic. Everyone who reads blogs is psychic. They assume that if someone begins all of their articles with a random picture and some dry humor that it’ll probably end up being a dramatic political satire related to the picture, because they know everything, because readers KNOW EVERYTHING. So, how does one surprise a reader?


Let’s start with a goat. Goats are always surprising. I rather like goats. Actually, to be honest, I don’t know anything about goats other than they’re basically sheep with horns and less hair. Anyways, we’ve got a goat. Now, what are we going to do with this goat? Well, we’re going to ride it, you see. We’re going to ride it across the Atlantic Ocean, because all goats can walk on salt water, you see. And now we’re going to feed it some fish, because goats eat fish! This is our NEW DISCOVERY! So, we’ll keep feeding it until it’s so big it fills up like a balloon and takes us sailing into the clouds above! This is the exclamation point section! HAHAHAHAHA!

Once we’re in the clouds, we’ll start catching passing seagulls. As they struggle, we’ll strap them to the goat with leather bindings, leaving their wings exposed so that their flapping redirects our flight pattern to—geese muffins, it’s Istanbul! A city on two continents! How did we ever get here?! Well, let’s head down. We free our seagulls and stick needles in the goat, deflating it. After a gentle descent, we arrive on the Asian side of the city, and are immediately and savagely assaulted by Turkish missionaries for being “fell heathens.” After escaping with only our thumbs and earlobes broken and torn, we rush to the nearest coyote salesman. He gives us two fine hounds for free because we have a cute blonde chick with us who pleases him with her extensive knowledge of yo-yo yoga—that’s yoga with a yo-yo. We immediately mount the coyotes, the blonde vanishing into thin air, and ride off into the sunset, only to be swallowed by a passing sand dragon who farts us into the Tenth Level of Hell.

And that’s how you surprise a reader.


An Oldie But A Goodie

2 Jan

This video was made by me and my brother back when I was 12. It’s totally awesome…ish…

Here’s the link:

Dylan Alexander on Art

17 Dec

What is art? I honestly want you to consider that question right now and define the word “art” to yourself, from your own perspective, from your own viewpoint. What is it? Where does it come from? Why has it stayed with us for so long? Well, I believe the reason it has managed to stay with us all this time is because there is one thing that makes it different from other things in every way. It’s different from doctoring people, teaching people, working with chemicals, discovering new animals, digging up fossils, building roads, washing cars, solving equations, baking cakes, chopping wood, and many other things, because of an attribute it has, a feature it holds all to itself. You see, each of the actions listed above has its limits. Art’s limits: none.

Art can also be many things, the primary being illustrating, painting, writing, film, drama, and music. All of these are passions of mine. All of these are also dropping like flies from public school programs. Mathematics is important. Grammar (or English, if you prefer) is important. Science is important. P.E. is important. Guess what else is important? Art. Most people have said that this is because it is a way for children, teens, and adults alike to express their inner feelings. Although agreeable, if you think about it, it is also a morale device. Here’s a perfect way to prove this to yourself. Grab a piece of paper, right now. Go ahead and get one. Now that you have this paper, I want you to get a pencil or pen. Do that now. Get it. You have one now? Good. Take this pen, and draw a circle on it. Now it is merely a circle, but you see that you have created this circle. Give it dotted eyes. Now give it a smile, and a nose. Don’t worry too much about how detailed it looks, just do all of that. Now draw small hairs on its head. Just little lines that are like hairs. You make them smooth or make them stick up in the air, it’s your creation. It’s yours. You can even make an afro if you want. You done? Good. Now write its name under it, and be creative with this name. Make it a name you’ll never forget, and one that relates to you or who you want to be. You have that down? Good. Now under his name, give him a title (i.e. Lord of the Lollipops). And you can make it serious, silly, whatever you like. Are you finished? Great! Now in any corner of the page write your name and the date under it. Now, tell me how you feel after that?

I know you probably feel quite pleased with that new creation. And you know something, so do kids, teens, and everyone else on this planet. Art is a piece of the soul. It breathes life into people, and brings them joy. No matter how little or small the joy may be, it brings it. If students were already feeling joyous as they entered a classroom to study, how do think they might do? Well, I know how I feel whenever this is the case: I soar through my courses. If the faculty of schools cutting these classes really gave a damn about the products that they would be getting when their students graduated, they’d be using art to fuel their students, not stripping it from them. And I really hate this excuse, “The students are doing enough art on their own time now, so the art class is useless.” Bull. That’s merely a justifier for taking it from the kids. It isn’t fair to make excuses like that.

I understand that there’s a budget to deal with. I also understand that the other classes are important. But outright cutting art down is wrong. I honestly believe this is just some plot to rid the world’s children of creativity. If their budget’s been cut down than maybe (and I said maybe so hear me out) one could have parents pay a small fee for art classes every months or every few months, and the profit would build up from the amount of kids being given back their art classes on these terms. This would be a nice plan and it would be better for everybody.

Art is a subject that isn’t given enough consideration. It needs more. It needs to be viewed with more importance. And if some suppressive person wants to drive it into the ground, then by God, fight back people! Because this isn’t just education we’re talking about anymore. This is the future. Without good, intelligent, creative, inventive kids to take charge when the adults of today kick the bucket, this civilization will be lost. Without culture, it will die. And that is the cold, hard truth.


Dylan Alexander, Age 14


Dylan Alexander

My Top Five: Favorite Star Wars Villains

1 Oct
Number Five: Darth Nihilus- Those first moments when I heard Nihilus’ voice sent chills down my spine. This truly is a Sith. Nihilus’ motives are very unclear. No matter how many times I thought I knew after speaking with Visas Marr, it just didn’t seem to add up. And that’s why I liked him so much. As much as I’d like to add Darth Sion to the list as well, he just told too much about himself by the end and just basically gave himelf away. With Nihilus, I kind of knew what was going on, but not fully. I always felt that something was missing. And that is why Nihilus takes the Number Five spot on my list.

                                                                          Darth_Nihilus_Saber.jpg Darth Nihilus image by erbalt42

Number Four: Darth Sidious- I’ve always wanted to see how such a seemingly kind and noble man like Palpetine could turn into such a ruthless killing machine and sinister Dark Lord like the Emperor. Darth Sidious, his Sith alias, showed me this very thing. And boy did he scare the crap out of me. Every word that emitted from his lips was like a drop of poison. He truly is the evil I thought he was. The only thing that takes him down really is that for me, by Episode III, he seemed way too obvious. Why on Earth would he make his identity so easy to see? I mean, I get that the Force was clouded by the Dark Side, but really, you don’t need to be a genius to know that he’s evil. I mean, listen to his voice.


Number Three: Darth Maul- When I first went to see Episode I in theaters, I saw Maul fight Qui-Gon with a single blade. Great, seen it before. But when he came out with that double-bladed saber, I almost cried. It really was one of the coolest duels ever, that one. And not to mention the look of Maul. His face could give kids nightmares for weeks. Really. His eyes too, they’re just so scary. And finally, to think this guy had only like two or three lines (maybe four), and yet he still remains a very important Sith in the Star Wars lore now. He truly is a villain. Truly.
Number Two: Darth Vader- Yeah, another Darth. But really, how can I not have Darth Vader on the list too? He is just one of the most iconic, if not the most iconic villain in cinema history. His voice is memorable by more than half Earth’s population (probably), nearly everybody in America knows who he is. He even had the entire Prequel Trilogy devoted to his origin. His armor, or “iron lung,” is one of the most popular looks for a villain, ever, and one of the most recognizable. He is also quite a great character. The idea of somebody commiting such a genecide of essentially an entire (hokey) religion out of pure love for one person is just villainous. And that’s why he steals the Number Two spot on my list.

Now I know what you’re thinking, why isn’t Darth Vader Number One? I mean, who’s greater than Vader (hey, that kind of rhymes)? Well I’m glad you asked (if you did) because my Number One spot goes to somebody who at first you’ll think, “WHAT?!” but will soon understand.

NUMBER ONE: General Grievous (Micro Series)- In 2004 a micro series known as Star Wars: The Clone Wars (no, not the CG film) came out and it told the story between Episodes II and III in five minute episodes that had real impact on my view of Star Wars. They were bold, daring, and had great additional characters, and they also gave us another reason to love Mace Windu even more when he was alive (didn’t we have enough already?). Well, the last episode of the season was announced, and it was going to be ten minutes long! Ten minutes? What could be so great about this episode? Well, I’ll tell you what was so great: a miysterious droid/alien creature that KICKED MORE JEDI BUTT THAN CHUCK NORRIS ON STEROIDS!!!

In the episode, the wreckage of a Republic flagship is lying is the dust of a planet (can’t remember the name). A massive army of super battle droids are surruonding it, for there are eight Jedi still inside. Three of them are the very well known Ki Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Shaak Ti. The other four are Jedi Knights and one is a padawan. The padawan is scared poopless. Litterally he is yelling, “We are all going to die!” He’s nuts, the Knights (Aayla included) are trying to calm him down, while Shaak Ti and Ki notice a shadow pass the outside of the ship. When they tell the others of it, the padawan has a panic attack and runs out of the ship. Now, this is where I almost fell off the couch. As soon as the padawan set foot in the sunlight, a massive machine like creature landed on him and flattened him into the ground. Do you see? He didn’t jump down and charge at him, jump in front of him and stab him with his lightsabers. He SMASHED HIM INTO THE GROUND WITH HIS BARE FEET.

Afterward he jumped upward again, and the Jedi activated their sabers. They were spread out so they wouldn’t be killed all at once. Or so they thought. Grievous blasted through the rafters (top) of the ship and began hacking and slashing at the Jedi. He was fighting the last seven, all at the same time (and this was before he had four arms)! He knocked back a few of them and managed to corner one at one point, slaying him with ease. Six to go. He then took on two more of the Jedi, and this was where I learned of his great ego. He went to such braggish limits that he even held the sabers WITH HIS FEET and fought them like that. When he returned to his normal fighting stance he used his feet to pick up the two Knights, one being Aayla, and crushed one of their heads with his foot (not Aayla). HE CRUSHED HIS HEAD, IN A KIDS SHOW. He then threw both of them into the rafters. Four to go. Grievous then charged into the last four, sliced two of them up easily, and then took on the two masters.

Grievous then acomplished something defining. He kicked Shaak Ti so hard that when she slammed into the wall of the ship IT CAME DOWN ON TOP OF HER (still don’t know how she survived). After that he picked up her saber, with his foot, and had in his physical grasp three lightsabers! And as he leaped at Ki Adi-Mundi, the show cut to Yoda, he said something (can’t remember, something to do with the war not being over), and it ended. And after that I had tears of joy/awesomeness streaming down my eyes. Favorite fight scene in Star Wars.

Now, compare the Grievous I just described to the one in the film. THEY ARE EXACTLY OPPOSITE. I had no problem with Obi-Wan killing him in the movie, believe me I saw it coming. But the fact that he died easily, EASILY, is what ticks me off. And this time he had FOUR ARMS. It should have taken Obi-Wan crushing him into a ball with the Force and then slicing him to pieces, not three blaster bolts! He is also MUCH less intimidating in the movie, in every way. Voice, look, etc. Lastly, they told us about him. They did it! They made that one mistake that they could’ve solved by pulling a Darth Maul, but instead they pulled a Darth Sion and told us his whole story.

Well, I will always remeber the cartoon Grievous as the true Grievous. And that is my list of my favorite Star Wars villains. I hope you can find at least one choice to agree with.