Tag Archives: war

Finding Waldo and the Great Kings

8 Feb

Have you ever met a katydid?

Okay, so now that you’ve found Waldo, you can keep reading my blog. Oh, you were hoping for the usual? Okay, let me think of something to write about. Oh, I know, I’ll write about the War in Afghanistan, or condoms. I think the latter’s a deeper subject. You can really get into condoms, you know? They always seem to be hiding some dark secrets. It’s hard for them to slip away. You just keep coming back for—okay, okay, I’ll stop with the condom jokes.

Now, let’s get real here. I’m clearly trying to get somewhere, but probably not a place you’re interested in going. So I’ll get there by way of a story.

EDIT: I personally feel that this one’s a bit anti-climactic. Having said that, if you feel like it’s anti-climactic, #%@& you.

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So, long ago there were these three great kings: Pax, Leon and Adam. Pax was a great schemer who acquired his kingdom through guile, bribery, and a slow, gradual overthrow of the old ruler, whom his father had served under as an adviser. Leon was a great warrior who, after serving as the old king’s Right Hand, organized a swift and vicious coup, taking his seat on the throne with his wife advising him at all times (she being the one who whispered words of “coup” into Leon’s mind in the first place). Adam, the handsomest of the three, ended a potential civil war in his kingdom, but grew jealous when his brother, a fat, lazy pig who raped more women than he’d saved, was named heir to the throne. The day before his coronation, Adam pushed him out the window of a tower, skull fragments scattering across stone. The next day, he was named the new heir, and took his place as ruler of his own kingdom.

These three men all obtained their titles through bloodshed, whether it was done with careful planning, murderous overthrow, or just a simple little push, none of them gained their thrones by peaceful means. Good men or not, there was a certain calculation that all three possessed which allowed them to take the lives of their foes in the manner in which they did, whatever that manner was.

And so came the visit.

On a night in the cold, dark winter, a young woman in a beautiful red and gold dress came to visit each of the three kings. The first to be visited was Pax. When the woman arrived with her large caravan of golden clothed men, she and her fellows were welcomed with open arms. A grand feast was held, and King Pax asked the woman of her homeland. She told him, and the rest seated around the great dinner table, that she was the Queen of Pyrquin, a kingdom far to the south where the rivers ran with clean, clear water like no other land, and where merchants and traders bartered so often that the economy was constantly booming. The amount of riches the kingdom posses were beyond count or measure. The fields were sweeping and lush, and the farmlands were fertile and undying. The walls of Castle Pyrquin had never been breached and never would be.

And now here was Pax, plotting how he would take Pyrquin and add it to his empire. He would do it exactly as he had before. First he would sway the lower level guards and soldiers with his charismatic aura and intriguing political ideals. Then he would slowly allow officers to join in the discussions concerning possible reforms for Pyrquin. This would occur over the course of many months, allowing him to eventually gain access to the royal guard. The possibility of a total overthrow would be alluded to, and then, finally, some would say they were ready to begin the takeover. He would bribe those who disagreed with money, women, positions of power, whatever he had to use. Finally, when the Queen of Pyrquin was in chains, he would make her into his concubine, for she was much too beautiful to be executed, but would be far too great an enemy at this point to be taken on as a wife.

So, Pax did all those things, and then when he did have the lady in chains before him in her throne room, he smiled, believing he had won. Then, next thing he knew, the very men he had persuaded to join his cause turned on him and locked him away in Pyrquin’s dungeon while his kingdom was invaded and made a part of the Pyrquin Empire.

And so Pax fell.

Next, the woman and her caravan went to visit Leon on a night in the cold, dark winter. Leon welcomed her with open arms, and a great feast was prepared for the arrival of the golden caravan. When asked about her kingdom, the woman replied in just the same way as before. Leon’s wife grinned at the opportunity.

“My love,” she whispered to the king, “your armies are the greatest and most powerful in all the world. This lady claims her castle’s walls are impenetrable. You must show her how wrong she is. You must take her land, and make it into a new part of our empire.”

Leon, being quite trusting of his wife, had the Queen of Pyrquin, as she had introduced herself, locked away with her caravan. They didn’t fight back all that hard. Leon suspected nothing, and so he led an army to the walls of the castle. What he did not know was that a layer of earth surrounding the castle had been dug out underground, and thousands of pots carrying explosive concoctions created by Pyrquin’s alchemists had been left there for just such an occasion. They were lit ablaze, and in the blink of an eye Leon’s army fell into a massive grave. Though he himself did not die on that day, he was locked in Pyrquin’s dungeon, in the same cell as Pax. They hardly ever spoke to each other, ashamed of their mighty failures. When Leon’s kingdom was conquered by the Pyrquin Empire, his wife was beheaded, for it was her words that led to this grand defeat (or, in the Queen’s case, a grand victory).

And so Leon fell.

Finally, the woman and her caravan arrived before the court of King Adam. Now, Adam had taken note of the sudden overthrow of the two other kingdoms. He had his military prepared for a potential invasion, had his personal guard swear fealty to him in the case of a coup, and kept his eyes peeled for any assassination attempts. Adam had taken a wife and son in the time since he murdered his brother, and so he certainly had something to defend at this point other than his own skin.

On a night in the cold, dark winter, a golden caravan arrived at Adam’s kingdom. Before allowing them entry, he had them examined and questioned fiercely. Any who carried weapons were forced to hand over what they carried. They did so without resentment. A dinner was held, guards on all sides of the main hall. The Queen of Pyrquin was impressed by the extensive amount of security and preparation. She asked if her people could stay the night within the safety of Adam’s walls, for they had run into some trouble on the road. Adam decided to have the Queen’s caravan remain in the hall while he discussed the terms of her stay privately. He reassured his wife, letting her know he would be prepared for any tricks.

Adam and the Queen arrived in his bedroom, and they began discussing the lady’s recent victories. She claimed that they were not invasions of any kind, simply mergers. Confluence had come about by way of diplomacy, and that was all there was to it. Adam thinned his eyes and inquired, “What are you really doing here?”

A smile curled up on the Queen’s face as she answered, “Finishing my game so I can move on to another.”

“Game?”

“I’ve come this far haven’t I? Clearly I’m a persuasive diplomat.”

“Or a ruthless killer.”

Adam stared at her back as she ran her hand along his bed’s quilt.

“If your kingdom were mine,” she began, “and I gained it through diplomacy, no harm would be done to any of your people.”

“My kingdom,” he retorted, “is not a something to be bartered with.”

“Isn’t it? What do you think would happen to this place if I was forced to bring my army to its walls? What do you think would happen if my soldiers stormed the halls of this castle and found your wife and child alone with you already dead on the battlefield?”

There was silence. Adam looked to the floor. He felt the Queen drawing nearer, placing a hand on his chest.

“Do you think they would survive?” she whispered. Her eyes were cruel and piercing. He thought of killing her right then, but her armies would indeed strike with such furious vengeance that no army he could muster would be able to hold them back. Killing her was a horrid idea, and he knew there was only one solution that would keep his people safe, his family alive. The Queen’s hand reached his cheek.

And so Adam fell.

He was thrown in the same cell as Leon and Pax, left to rot with them while the Pyrquin Empire grew and grew. Eventually the three men were strapped to the mast of a ship without a crew and pushed out into the sea, never to be seen again.

Pax schemed with corruption, and so his schemes were corrupted. Leon assaulted blindly, and so his lack of perception was exploited. Adam betrayed his old family, putting his new one at risk. These three kings were all traitors, and so the blood they spilled caught up with them.

The Pyrquin Empire continued collecting kingdoms for a decade. The three kings eventually arrived on an island across the sea, far from their home. What became of them when they arrived their is unknown.

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Okay, so that’s all I’ve got for tonight. I just figured I’d pull that one out of my butt. Goodnight!

They said the title was optional…

15 Nov

Okay, so I know I’ve been writing stuff lately that’s completely unrelated to everything that ever happens anywhere. So, today, I shall now attempt to do the exact opposite and provide you with actual art. So, here it is, the first chapter of my next book. If you steal it, I will find you and kill you. It’ll be published by the end of the year. This is not the format you’ll see it in. The chapter (or “episode” in this case) has no name. I won’t be naming the chapters until I’ve finished the book. It’s over two hundred pages now, I think. I hope you enjoy this section.

P.S.- If there are spelling errors and you point them out to me, I will consider that legitimate grounds to do the same thing I’d do if you stole this Holy God awesome work of art. Thank you, jerks.

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Ledge

EPISODE ONE

There’s darkness, and then the curtains are drawn back. Time starts. His thumb moves. Click. That’s the sound of the gun’s hammer getting pulled back.

“Still won’t talk, Mr. Adams?”

That’s Greg. He isn’t holding the gun. Mac’s holding the gun. Mac’s seven feet tall, or something.

“Hit him again, Mac.”

Whack! That’s me getting punched in the face by a left hook. The gun’s in his right hand, not aimed at anything in particular yet.

“Come on, Adams. We don’t got all day. Just tell us where your friend is and we’ll let you go.”

My friend is Michael. I won’t tell Greg anything. I think my jaw’s broken anyway. It hurts like hell.

“Adams…”

We’re in a hotel room. It’s got a nice view overlooking Lake Oslana. That wasn’t the lake’s first name, but the owner of the hotel line decided it’d be a nice one to buy. I wonder what it was called originally.

“You know how easy this is. And it’s not like we’re gonna backstab you or anything. Just let us at him!”

I wish Greg would get it over with and have my ass capped already. There’s no way I’m exposing Michael—no way. I really hope he doesn’t come in and try to save me or anything.

AGH! GOOD GOD!

“That’s strike one. Next we put a bullet in your other thigh. Might be hard to walk around. Start talking.”

Jesus Christ, it hurts so much! Keep it together, Eddie! Be cool! You’ll make it out of this. Just need a plan.

Greg’s looking over at the other two men in the room, Mac not being one of them. He says something to them, but I can’t hear it very well. It HURTS!

“…and if we’re not quick enough, the Doctor might wonder what’s taking so long!”

The Doctor: a psychotic crime lord with one eye and one hand. There’s an eye patch over the eye (no, no hook). He seems threatening to most people. Not to me. He’s just an ugly old man to me.

Whack! Another punch. The Doctor REALLY wants Michael dead, huh?

“We may have to waterboard it out of this guy,” says one of the other men. I don’t know his name, just some random goon with a gun. I hope Greg doesn’t agree.

“Get the rags,” he says. Now I’m done for. I won’t be able to hold out through that stuff. I hope Michael left the country. It’s not safe here in State 9 anymore, not with all that’s been happening lately.

A lot of time passes once the third man exits to get the rags. I give Greg an indifferent look, he shoots a glare. I give Mac the same look and he just snorts and walks off, dropping the gun on a sofa chair. He talks quietly with the last man in the room (just another goon).

“Why do you care so much?” Greg asks me. I become introspective and really analyze this before I answer, and then I shrug seeing as nothing I say will prove satisfactory. If I told him how Michael saved me, how he was different from the other you-know-whats, he wouldn’t understand. He’d just say I was a nutcase who needed his head examined.

After the course of fifteen minutes (it felt like a lot more to me), the rags arrive with the third man. He tosses them to Mac, who catches them with ease.

“Did you bring the bottles too?” Greg asks.

“They’re just outside sir,” the man responds. “I’ll go get ‘em.”

The chair I’m strapped to is made of wood. It is laid across the floor, me now facing the ceiling. This is going to suck.

“You could always talk now,” Greg offers. I remain silent, like a good friend should, and the rags are placed over my face. I toss my head to the left, throwing the rags off. When a hard punch hits me in the—Lord, that hurts!—face I stopped turning. The rags go over my face again. I think my nose is bleeding.

One of the water bottles is opening, I can hear it. Here it comes. Mac’s tilting it right now. Get out now Michael. Get out before they find y—CRASH!

“What the—?!”

The sound of men being tossed about the room echoes through my ears. Bullets fly from Mac’s gun, but it explodes in his hand, causing him to shout in pain. The other two goons fire but are launched into the ceiling, their necks snapping. I can hear Greg being pinned against the wall. Mac is groaning and weeping on the floor as the rags are lifted off my face.

Michael.

“Get out of here!” I tell him. He unties the ropes that bind me and helps me into a sofa chair. There’s Greg, being held against the wall by Michael’s power.

“An angel never leaves his friends behind,” he tells me, before looking to Greg with an expressionless face. One of the guns of the dead goons soars toward his hand. He aims it at the leader of the group, now begging for mercy.

“To harm an ally of mine is to hang oneself,” the angel says. Then a red mark appears between the eyes of Greg and blood trickles down from it until it reaches his lips. The body falls to the floor, lifeless as ever. Michael looks back at me.

“Are you all right, Edward?”

“Yeah,” I lie, “I’m dandy. You showed up just in time. Although I still think you need to get the hell out of Dodge.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “WE are getting out of Dodge, not I.”

“I have to see Sally first.”

Sally’s my girlfriend. She’s—she’s beautiful. I haven’t quite decided whether I’ll marry her yet. We’ve been steady for a few years now.

“No time,” Michael tells me, causing my further worry. “Those were easy hunters. If they send Lucifer—.”

“I can’t just leave her. They’ll kill her!”

I’m standing now, but my leg hurts too much. I’m trembling as I fall back into the chair. Michael holds a hand to were the bullet is and slowly—YAGH—levitates it out of me. I’m not bleeding too bad. Okay, maybe I AM bleeding too bad. But he’s already ripping a bed sheet apart and wrapping a piece of it around the wound.

“That should stop the bleeding. Raphael will be able to heal you later.”

“Michael, I can’t leave her.”

His face, though without expression, holds weight behind it like you couldn’t imagine. His eyes waver and glow. And then, he understands.

“I will get you to safety first. The others are downstairs with a car. I’ll let them get you out of here, then I’ll get the girl.”

I’m thinking of disagreeing, thinking of telling him I have to be there when it happens. But that’d be foolish right now. I need healing, and Raphael’s always been the quickest at that.

“All right, fine. Let’s go.”

He nods. We depart. Mac looked dead last I checked.

This world has changed since the war. I can only hope that doing what I’m doing will help save it from its own self-destruction. Although, to be honest, when I look outside at the dystopia that has come, I can’t help but lose hope entirely.

We’re hanging on a ledge right now. I really hope Man’s fingers don’t get any more tired than they already are.

My Thoughts on the Battle: Los Angeles Trailer

9 Jan

Yeah, I guess this is a bit weird. I don’t know anybody who reviews trailers, but I do know this, the trailer for Battle: Los Angeles is awesome. I mean, damn was it good. I don’t think I’ve seen a better trailer, ever.

Okay, so it opens up with some slides showing these random alien sightings all across Earth (which I presume after checking out the sight and looking tirelessly at the Wikipedia entry after Wikipedia entry are real pictures). They’re all really cool slides and have a creepy feel. After the slides go a really cool music track begins to play. I can’t even begin to describe this music, it was just so different and fresh and new and it fit this trailer so perfectly, that I can’t help but think I’m going to see like forty internet videos use the same music and pretend they’re original. (Anyone notice the overuse of the Mass Effect 2 trailer music? Same thing.)

Anyhow, the music starts and we get some strange shots of L.A. with no sound, save the music. Then, slowly but surely, the shots change from just being regular L.A. shots to shots of ships dropping into L.A. from the sky. Then we see shots of soldiers arriving as the conflict ensues, all silent mind you (save the music). It’s just such an interesting feel, so quite and peaceful, even though death and destruction is right before your eyes. There’s some fantastic shots of the combat that will be taking place in the movie, even a few moving shots that really got to me (and all the while that music is get louder and louder, and better and better). Suddenly we get shots of the soldiers of the film in what look like alien hive nests (no sound, just music rising more) and on alien ships. And then we get, as the music of the trailer reaches its peak, one of the creepiest trailer shots (for an action film) I think I’ve ever seen, featuring a soldier firing in slow motion at enemies not seen in the camera’s lens, as a blurred metallic creature slowly creeps up behind the human. And then, silence comes, and the trailer ends.

Guys, if you haven’t seen it yet you need to look it up on YouTube, now. I saw in the theater recently, and my eyes were completely transfixed on the screen. It just looked awesome, felt awesome, and was overall awesome. I really hope this movie isn’t a disappointment. I also really hope it isn’t just an Independence Day re-skin. Oh, and of course they had better put that friggin’ music in there: so good.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

27 Dec

Hey everybody! I know it’s been an enormously long time since I’ve posted (mostly because I’ve been busy writing), but I’m back for a while with great news: CHRISTMAS WAS AWESOME!

Okay, so first there’s the gifts my siblings got: my little brother got a brand new Toshiba gaming laptop with a slick screen and top of the line graphics card, Fable III Collector’s Edition, some other really cool video games, an ultralight, extremely durable remote controlled helicopter (from yours truly), and a lot of candy!

My younger sister got an incredible amount of toys, an amount way too high to count. I mean, it’s unbelievable how many toys she got, it’s ridiculous. You know that awesome toy you saw the last time you were at Toys ‘R’ Us, that one? Yeah, she has it. Oh, and she also got her first bike!

Then there’s my parents, who got some cool sci-fi books, some cookies, hugs, tools (from sis’, for Dad), cooking supplies (from me, for Mom), and some video games (Mom got Mass Effect 2).

My grandmother received some nice presents as well, one of the key ones (also from me (sorry)) being her Steamboat Willy snow globe, as well as Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury (incredible book).

Lastly, there’s me. I got a new Toshiba gaming laptop (awesome), tools (awesome), a new basketball (awesome), Shutter Island and Inception (I’ve reviewed both on the blog, go look for those write-ups), Fallout: New Vegas (decent, so far), an Epic Mickey t-shirt (but not the game), Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II Collector’s Edition (haven’t played yet) and some other stuff that I for some reason can’t remember off the top of my head. Ah well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have reviews of Killing Floor and New TF2 up soon. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!