They said I should sell out…

20 Dec

Don’t worry, I’m not selling out. Okay, maybe a little. Okay, maybe A LOT, but in a good way. At least I’m being overt and telling you all, or YOU, my singular reader, that I’m selling out. I’m not acting like BioWare where I covertly and slowly devolve into a corporate hack who makes either really bad endings to his stories or leaves them half-finished. I’m simply doing that right in front of you…

…except for the corporate hack making bad endings and half-finished products part. That was a joke.

That being said, if you see some changes to the blog, it’s because I’m actually starting to (as much as I make jokes about having only one reader) gain some fans (at least that’s what this little graph here tells me). I want to make sure that when my super geeky fan club is formed, they know who they’re talking to a little better and can be more sure that I’m actually going to stay in communication with them.

Some of the stuff I’ve been writing lately isn’t exactly mainstream. It’s weird and unplanned, not like when I started and had segments and whatnot. I think a happy medium can be achieved. I’ll begin by posting something extremely arbitrary now, followed by an article next week that is planned and precise. Thanks for reading guys. I’ll be sure to give you new data on my soon to be released novel, Ledge. By the way, here’s the second chapter. Keep in mind the fonts will be different when it is actually released. Also note that I have now named all of the chapters since the completion of the story, something I didn’t do before. Here you go:

ARRIVAL

——————————————————————————————————————————–

ACCESSING FILE 019: ARRIVAL

 

DECOMPILING…

 

DECOMPILING…

 

COMPRESSING…

 

COMPRESSING…

 

LOADING…

 

FILE READY FOR VIEWING

The arrival of the angels came during the year 2063 A.D. just one decade after the end of the Fourth World War. The world had been ravaged by the war, but was rebuilding as best it could. The United States and Canada had now become the Continental Union. Mexico would soon become a part of it in the year 2067. The Continental Union was divided into nine massive states, all of which had their own laws that were unaffected by the democratic government of the Union. The Union had a few national laws, but only a few. There was great peace and unity occurring during the rebuilding period.

That all changed in 2063.

During this year, strange, bright spheres of light began appearing spontaneously in skies across the globe, but mostly focusing on the Union region, namely State 7 (which was originally the eastern coast of the United States). When these spheres would vanish something that looked along the lines of a person would fall from them, not to be seen again for some time. That is until people with fantastic abilities began getting caught on tape: walking through walls, flying, moving objects without coming in contact with them, spitting fire.

Nobody knew where they came from. Many wanted to find out.

The angels, as they were deemed by normal humans, were questioned by the people of Earth. The responses were unsettling, to say the least. Most of them didn’t seem to remember where they’d come from and only had foggy visions of their childhoods. The Union military strategists, of course, wanted to know how their powers worked. The angels, of course, didn’t know. They just did things because they could. It was like breathing for them. And so, naturally, a few were taken into custody without their consent.

An even division was made between pro-experimentation and anti-experimentation humans. Some felt that if they weren’t experimented on their weaknesses couldn’t be found, and so they’d become invincible and probably try to terrorize or enslave humanity, or, the even more radical thinkers believed, destroy it. Some felt that to detain someone without their consent, not matter what the risk, was inhumane and against the rights of the Man. This sort of thinking didn’t agree with many minds, however, as most believed that the angels were not human and from another world.

Were they from another world?

These weren’t the simplest of times and so complex issues arose. Eventually, through testing, weaknesses were discovered in the angles, and a human enhancement project began in order to make an angel hunter, codenamed: Lucifer. This was being called a precaution by the military, but really it was being done in order to further Operation: Purify, which entailed the wiping out of all angels. The ideas of angels taking over the planet didn’t seem all too wild after some time. Some angels did indeed express resentment towards the humans, thoughts of revenge even. Media outlets blew these thoughts out of proportion, and so the idea that angels were anti-Mankind spread like wildfire.

At the time of this record’s creation Lucifer has not yet been completed and angels are still in existence. Hopefully this has proven to be useful data for the future.

END OF FILE

 

REVIEW?

 

I don’t review the file. I don’t feel like it. I had never looked at it before. I’d grown up with the established views of the angels. I wish I hadn’t. I wish I were one of them, so I could do anything.

This is before Greg and his goons have broken in. I’m looking at the tablet’s touchscreen, doing nothing. How did it come to this? They’re hunted now, like dogs. And you know something’s wrong when the government hires crime lords to sick their dogs on these people.

Can’t man forgive man for evolving? Can’t man forgive man for changing?

I hear a knock at the door. Foolishly I assume it’s Sally. I’m eager to see her. I’m eager to propose to her. Well, I think I am, anyway. I haven’t quite decided whether I—.

Whack! Why the hell didn’t I look through the peep hole? Ugh. At least Michael helped me out. And now I’m in this car.

Nathaniel’s driving. Hamaliel is in the front passenger seat.

“I always wanted to try a donut dipped in juice, just once.”

That’s Nathaniel. He always talks about something pointless.

“It doesn’t seem like a very logical thing to do.”

That’s Hamaliel. He’s always talking about logic.

“Oh, come on,” Nathaniel says. “You don’t think it’d taste good?”

“I don’t think any of the meals your mind wanders to would satiate me in the slightest,” the other replies. “I believe that bacon dipped in chocolate syrup would be quite nauseating.”

“It’s delicious! Come on, Hammy. You need to eat more exciting foods. I was viewing one of those records about a show from that old website, YouTube, called—.”

“I don’t want to hear about it.”

Nathaniel snorts and tells him, “What’s the matter? You think your stomach won’t handle the very description?”

“I just ate back there, Nate.”

“And what did you eat?”

“Sushi.”

“Sushi! What kind of meal is that? And they sell it at the hotel?”

“They do.”

“Someday, I’m slipping bacon in your sushi.”

I can’t help but laugh at the two of them. Even with my nervousness over Sally, and the pain in my leg, those two still don’t fail to get a chuckle out of me. Hamaliel looks back at me and grins.

“We’re almost out of the city, Edward,” he lets me know. “We’re heading for a small safe house near the Ocoee River.”

The following American states were where State 9 of the Union now sits: Indiana, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. We’re in the Tennessee area right now, in a city near to where Chattanooga used to be. It got wiped out during the war, along with Nashville. The city we’re in’s called Remembrance. I always think of everyone who was lost when I’m here. I never really saw any of that. I was born in the year 2046. It’s now 2073. A lot’s happened in that time.

We’re exiting the city now, getting on the highway. It leads to the superhighway, but we’re not going that far ahead. The superhighway’s got cameras galore. We don’t want to run into those. Nathaniel says we’re taking the next exit and heading onto a dirt road soon. This should be interesting—I haven’t been outside a major city in some time.

I take a nap as the time passes. I dream of—.

“Wake up!”

It’s Nathaniel.

“We’re here, Eddie! Let me help you out.”

I can barely walk, but with his help I think I’ll be all right. The car doors are shut and we make our way into a fairly decently sized log cabin. There’s six rooms for its six residents: Nathaniel, Hamaliel, Michael, Raphael, Lailah and Orifiel. In case you were wondering, Lailah and Orifiel are the only two women, and Orifiel isn’t even really a woman yet. She’s only sixteen, as far as she knows. Hell, for all I know she could be two hundred. We still don’t know where these guys came from or what their purpose is.

Don’t ask me how they got the cabin by the way, I haven’t the slightest notion. They probably bought it off someone. It’s too well designed for them to have built it themselves.

I don’t look around much, but I’m quickly taken into Raphael’s room and laid on the floor. And there he is, long blonde hair and all.

“What the hell happened to him?” he asks. Hamaliel answers him with, “There was shooting. Michael saved him.”

Nathaniel adds the missing detail, “Mike says we’ve got to get going soon.”

Raphael’s eyes grow thin as he says, “What do you mean?”

“We won’t be able to stay hidden long,” Hamaliel tells the healer. Which reminds me…

“Uh, guys,” I say aloud, “I don’t mean to break you all up, but I’m kind of in pain down here.”

Raphael gets down on his knees and unbinds the blanket piece around my wound. I wince as he puts his hand over it, but feel the warm flow of energy pass into it. The wound closes slowly, and then his hand goes over my beaten face, which heals in a similar manner.

Ahhhh…

“Good,” Raphael says as he stands up. “Now, Hammy, Nate, let’s talk.”

I carefully get to my feet, testing my walking for a bit. As the three exit the room Raphael looks back and says, “Feel free to take a seat on my bed. This might take a bit.”

I do so, and as I do I await word of what the next move is.

Don’t worry Sally, you’ll be safe soon…

…I hope.

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They said “Enter title here,” but I didn’t want to…

17 Dec

Hello, young muskrats! It’s the Christmas Season, and I figured I’d let you all, who aren’t even probably listening, know that on December 12, 2012, on the twelfth second of the twelfth minute of the twelfth hour, I announced the completion of my upcoming novel, Ledge. I’d give you all another taste, but frankly I can’ decide which chapter to show. The second one is definitely something to read straight from the book. Until I decide, I guess I’ll just say The Hobbit was awesome and that because I saw it on premiere night I got to witness the opening scene of Star Trek Into Darkness, which was also awesome. Also, what happened in Connecticut really sucks. To the families of those who died, don’t worry, I’m sure something good will come your way even after this tragedy has occurred. God bless you. Lastly, Happy Holidays everyone. You spin those dreidels.

Sincerely,

D.

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They said the title was optional…

15 Nov

Okay, so I know I’ve been writing stuff lately that’s completely unrelated to everything that ever happens anywhere. So, today, I shall now attempt to do the exact opposite and provide you with actual art. So, here it is, the first chapter of my next book. If you steal it, I will find you and kill you. It’ll be published by the end of the year. This is not the format you’ll see it in. The chapter (or “episode” in this case) has no name. I won’t be naming the chapters until I’ve finished the book. It’s over two hundred pages now, I think. I hope you enjoy this section.

P.S.- If there are spelling errors and you point them out to me, I will consider that legitimate grounds to do the same thing I’d do if you stole this Holy God awesome work of art. Thank you, jerks.

————————————————————————————————————————————–

Ledge

EPISODE ONE

There’s darkness, and then the curtains are drawn back. Time starts. His thumb moves. Click. That’s the sound of the gun’s hammer getting pulled back.

“Still won’t talk, Mr. Adams?”

That’s Greg. He isn’t holding the gun. Mac’s holding the gun. Mac’s seven feet tall, or something.

“Hit him again, Mac.”

Whack! That’s me getting punched in the face by a left hook. The gun’s in his right hand, not aimed at anything in particular yet.

“Come on, Adams. We don’t got all day. Just tell us where your friend is and we’ll let you go.”

My friend is Michael. I won’t tell Greg anything. I think my jaw’s broken anyway. It hurts like hell.

“Adams…”

We’re in a hotel room. It’s got a nice view overlooking Lake Oslana. That wasn’t the lake’s first name, but the owner of the hotel line decided it’d be a nice one to buy. I wonder what it was called originally.

“You know how easy this is. And it’s not like we’re gonna backstab you or anything. Just let us at him!”

I wish Greg would get it over with and have my ass capped already. There’s no way I’m exposing Michael—no way. I really hope he doesn’t come in and try to save me or anything.

AGH! GOOD GOD!

“That’s strike one. Next we put a bullet in your other thigh. Might be hard to walk around. Start talking.”

Jesus Christ, it hurts so much! Keep it together, Eddie! Be cool! You’ll make it out of this. Just need a plan.

Greg’s looking over at the other two men in the room, Mac not being one of them. He says something to them, but I can’t hear it very well. It HURTS!

“…and if we’re not quick enough, the Doctor might wonder what’s taking so long!”

The Doctor: a psychotic crime lord with one eye and one hand. There’s an eye patch over the eye (no, no hook). He seems threatening to most people. Not to me. He’s just an ugly old man to me.

Whack! Another punch. The Doctor REALLY wants Michael dead, huh?

“We may have to waterboard it out of this guy,” says one of the other men. I don’t know his name, just some random goon with a gun. I hope Greg doesn’t agree.

“Get the rags,” he says. Now I’m done for. I won’t be able to hold out through that stuff. I hope Michael left the country. It’s not safe here in State 9 anymore, not with all that’s been happening lately.

A lot of time passes once the third man exits to get the rags. I give Greg an indifferent look, he shoots a glare. I give Mac the same look and he just snorts and walks off, dropping the gun on a sofa chair. He talks quietly with the last man in the room (just another goon).

“Why do you care so much?” Greg asks me. I become introspective and really analyze this before I answer, and then I shrug seeing as nothing I say will prove satisfactory. If I told him how Michael saved me, how he was different from the other you-know-whats, he wouldn’t understand. He’d just say I was a nutcase who needed his head examined.

After the course of fifteen minutes (it felt like a lot more to me), the rags arrive with the third man. He tosses them to Mac, who catches them with ease.

“Did you bring the bottles too?” Greg asks.

“They’re just outside sir,” the man responds. “I’ll go get ‘em.”

The chair I’m strapped to is made of wood. It is laid across the floor, me now facing the ceiling. This is going to suck.

“You could always talk now,” Greg offers. I remain silent, like a good friend should, and the rags are placed over my face. I toss my head to the left, throwing the rags off. When a hard punch hits me in the—Lord, that hurts!—face I stopped turning. The rags go over my face again. I think my nose is bleeding.

One of the water bottles is opening, I can hear it. Here it comes. Mac’s tilting it right now. Get out now Michael. Get out before they find y—CRASH!

“What the—?!”

The sound of men being tossed about the room echoes through my ears. Bullets fly from Mac’s gun, but it explodes in his hand, causing him to shout in pain. The other two goons fire but are launched into the ceiling, their necks snapping. I can hear Greg being pinned against the wall. Mac is groaning and weeping on the floor as the rags are lifted off my face.

Michael.

“Get out of here!” I tell him. He unties the ropes that bind me and helps me into a sofa chair. There’s Greg, being held against the wall by Michael’s power.

“An angel never leaves his friends behind,” he tells me, before looking to Greg with an expressionless face. One of the guns of the dead goons soars toward his hand. He aims it at the leader of the group, now begging for mercy.

“To harm an ally of mine is to hang oneself,” the angel says. Then a red mark appears between the eyes of Greg and blood trickles down from it until it reaches his lips. The body falls to the floor, lifeless as ever. Michael looks back at me.

“Are you all right, Edward?”

“Yeah,” I lie, “I’m dandy. You showed up just in time. Although I still think you need to get the hell out of Dodge.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “WE are getting out of Dodge, not I.”

“I have to see Sally first.”

Sally’s my girlfriend. She’s—she’s beautiful. I haven’t quite decided whether I’ll marry her yet. We’ve been steady for a few years now.

“No time,” Michael tells me, causing my further worry. “Those were easy hunters. If they send Lucifer—.”

“I can’t just leave her. They’ll kill her!”

I’m standing now, but my leg hurts too much. I’m trembling as I fall back into the chair. Michael holds a hand to were the bullet is and slowly—YAGH—levitates it out of me. I’m not bleeding too bad. Okay, maybe I AM bleeding too bad. But he’s already ripping a bed sheet apart and wrapping a piece of it around the wound.

“That should stop the bleeding. Raphael will be able to heal you later.”

“Michael, I can’t leave her.”

His face, though without expression, holds weight behind it like you couldn’t imagine. His eyes waver and glow. And then, he understands.

“I will get you to safety first. The others are downstairs with a car. I’ll let them get you out of here, then I’ll get the girl.”

I’m thinking of disagreeing, thinking of telling him I have to be there when it happens. But that’d be foolish right now. I need healing, and Raphael’s always been the quickest at that.

“All right, fine. Let’s go.”

He nods. We depart. Mac looked dead last I checked.

This world has changed since the war. I can only hope that doing what I’m doing will help save it from its own self-destruction. Although, to be honest, when I look outside at the dystopia that has come, I can’t help but lose hope entirely.

We’re hanging on a ledge right now. I really hope Man’s fingers don’t get any more tired than they already are.

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AW MAH GAWSH! ELECTIONSSSSS!!!!

6 Nov

“We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.”

–Andrew Ryan, BioShock

“There’s a reason why this prison is the worst Hell on Earth: hope. Every man who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy. So simple. And like shipwrecked men turning to seawater from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying.”
 —Bane, The Dark Knight Rises

“Once a man has seen society’s black underbelly, he can never turn his back on it. Never pretend, like you do, that it doesn’t exist.”
 —Rorschach, Watchmen

This is an obligatory post. Every post is an obligatory post. But this is more obligatory than usual. Why? Because the Old America is about to either collapse and die under its own weight or be revitalized into a New America, more powerful than the old, an America with a surplus and a strong economy. We hear that word a lot, don’t we? What does it even mean?

e·con·o·my

noun /iˈkänəmē/
economies, plural

  1. The wealth and resources of a country or region, esp. in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services.
  2. A particular system or stage of an economy.
    • – A free-market economy is very workable.
    • – The less-developed economies were able to grow over time.
  3. Careful management of available resources
    • – The vehicle has even heat distribution and fuel economy.
  4. Sparing or careful use of something
    • – The writer had economy of words in all of his stories.
  5. A financial saving
    • – There were many economies to be made by giving up our offices in Manhattan.
  6. The cheapest class of air or rail travel
    • – We flew economy.

adjective /iˈkänəmē/

  1. (of a product) Offering the best value for the money
    • – We to a look at an economy pack.
  2. Designed to be economical to use
    • – I’ve never seen an economy car, not really.

Well, now that we’ve fully defined the word, I think we can have an educated discussion concerning the economy. That being said, since you aren’t brave enough to leave a comment re the economy, we will probably never have that discussion.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go put some pants on. This obligatory blog post has been brought to you by BioShock.

This Is Another Blog Post

25 Oct

So, I’m supposed to write another one of these. I could write about how Mitt Romney’s going to be President next, or how Chris Christie should be running but chose not to because of a promise he made to his state. I could write about how phone books are obsolete and how televisions are on their way to becoming archaic relics of the past. I could write about aliens influencing the evolution of human technology, or Michael Bay’s sick need to blow everything up. I could write about Libya, Syria, Afghanistan, North Korea, or the Jetsons. I could write about Native Americans, the Amazon Forrest, Korean pop music that’s getting way more popular than I expected it might. I could write about Pulp Fiction, or Shane Acker’s 9. But most of all, I could write about modern plumbing.

Now I already know what you’re asking, “Why in the hell would anyone want to talk about modern plumbing?” Well, I’m glad I asked. See, there’s a vast, intricate interconnection of pipes beneath our feet that we constantly take for granted, that we constantly think of and go, “Oh, there it is. That’s where all our bodily waste goes.” But think about it, where would we be without all those pipes? Where would we be without running water, or working toilets? Where would we be without washing machines and dishwashers? We never think about how civilized we’ve become thanks to plumbing. We used to drop our poop out windows and into dirt holes. We used to wash each pair of clothes we had by hand, and we’d end up spreading a lot more disease due to unclean hands.

Modern plumbing has saved us decades of pain, misery, and death.

So there, I wrote about pipes for a bit. Now, it’s time for you all to watch an episode of The Newsroom on HBO Go. Seriously, go watch it. It’s amazing.

This Is A Blog Post

11 Oct

I’m supposed to put things on here, but it’s funny, writing blog posts on WordPress is like throwing a message in a bottle into a sea of messages in bottles. (Yes, I stole that line. Deal.) You have no idea who’s reading, if they even care, if they even exist. Well, actually, I know they exist because the dashboard back here keep telling me they exist. Ah, excuse me, that you exist. Who are you anyway? A car salesman? Well, I’ve got news for you Mr. Car Salesman, we will never meet. You and I will never come into contact with each other. We’ll never even exchange a glance as we coincidentally dine on our filet mignons in the exact same cafe in Florence where Alfred kept going hoping to smile and nod at Bruce.

Now you think I’m going to preach about something Fight Club style, but I’m not. I’m not going to preach anything. I mean, why should I? You haven’t even read this far by now. And if you have, what the hell are you doing? Go outside. Go fishing. Go play rugby or whatever it is you kids play across the Pond these days. Go sell cars.

What am I going to do? Why, I’m glad I asked. I’m going to go write another book. I’m not telling you the secret location of the others. You’ll have to find it yourself. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.

Okay…

31 Aug

…so a long time ago there was this guy who just got out of prison. His country was really angry at a lot of other countries. A big war had just ended, and his nation had been wrongly punished for it. There was in an economic crisis. The angry people sought a means to get back at those who had punished them wrongly. So the guy grinned and got to work writing a book. When it was done and published, it sold pretty well. In it the guy talked about how he was going to kill a lot of people because of who their parents were, and because of how their kind had helped cause the present problems in his homeland. Many of those living in the guy’s country, who were angry and needed to find hope in something, read the book and agreed with the guy. They thought, “Yeah, let’s do that!”

Later on, the guy began to make radio and television broadcasts saying he’d carry out the overthrowing of his country’s government, followed shortly by the plans he had set out to accomplish so long ago. He even formed a club called Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. Many nations had heard of this guy, but they just laughed. He just had a funny mustache, how could he be a threat? The guy was a joke, a twit! Nobody listened to him outside of his country because nobody believed he was a threat.

In 1939, Poland was invaded by the country that very guy overthrew.

Now, why am I telling you this? Why am I blabbing about some guy who was dumb enough to call his club Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei? Well, if you look on a globe, there’s this little dinky spit of land called Iran. I have met nice people from there, and not so nice people. However, it should be noted that there may be a guy there attempting to do the same thing again, a guy making radio and television broadcasts saying things about launching a nuke at Israel. There are U.S. troops there keeping that from happening. Would you want them pulled out if it meant the beginning of World War III?

Ah, but hell, it’s probably nothing. The guy’s just a fella with a funny looking mustache.

I don’t support war any more than the next guy, but sometimes one must look at the difference between what is right and what is easy, and note that in the end, when the dark time has passed and the troops have done their job, they will come home.

My Thoughts on Super 8

17 Jun

Okay, so I haven’t been here in a while: sue me. I’ve been busy lately, taking amazing acting classes (more on that next week), as wells as writing my buns off. So, now that I’m settled in front of a monitor for more than five seconds, I think I’ll review a movie, a movie called

Okay, so we’re in the 70s, late 70s to be less general. We’ve got a kid called Joe Lamb: his mother was just killed in some unknown horrific accident. He’s at a funeral held in her honor. Just to kick off the poistivity, this opening scene is awesome. It feels very real and not like some staged instance that is just there to be there, very alive and creating an atmosphere that feels rich with stories, the stories of each character we meet in this sequence that is (some more notable than others).

We cut to four months later and Joe is working on filming a zombie flick with his friends, the director being his buddy Charles, a chunky funnyman who seems to be very concerned with their film’s “production value.” During the shooting for this film, a train rushes right by the set and gets into a terrible accident, nearly killing the cast and crew. They discover that some sort of living cargo has escaped from the train, and is now loose on the streets of the hometown of our heroes. Over the course of several days people go missing, the military arrives (of course), the citizens’ dogs run off, and nobody knows what is causing all this. What could this monsterous creature be? Is it one at all? Well, go see the friggin’ movie! It’s AWESOME!

I don’t even want to say a whole lot just so you can experience what I experienced (and I need to go to an acting gig in a bit). This movie, in my opinion, is truly an instant classic. It’s hard to find fault with it. The dialogue is hysterical at times, and then also chilling during some moments, but never swings too far one way or too far the other. J.J. Abrams was very good at the when directing Star Trek as well, keeping a balance in atmosphere throughout the film. He really is a master level director already.

I was also shocked with how good the effects were in this movie. I won’t tell you what the thing is that escaped from the train, but it looks badass, for real. And the train crash scene is epic, looking not only very real, but also spontaneous and thrilling all at once.

The cast in this film is phenomenal, especially considering the main star, Joel Courtney, is doing filmwork for the first time, as in he’s never been in a movie before. I tell ya, the stuff he does here is so real. Instead of being the indicated crap you see on T.V. these days, he brings to the table an actual human being experiencing what’s happening in the film. And Kyle Chandler as Deputy Lamb was absolutely awesome. You got how torn he was about doing the right thing, and you got how brave he was when he actually did it (or how wrong he felt when he didn’t). The other kids did a great job as well, once again, as I said about Joel, being very real and entertaing all the way through (especiall Ryan Lee. God is that kid a scream).

So go see Super 8, now! It’s honestly the best movie you’ll see this year. It may be the best movie you’ve seen in the past five years, truly. I know I’ll be using it as an example for years to come of an excellent film.

VERSUS: Fight Club vs. Inception

23 Feb

Okay, so if you’ve been a faithful reader, you have probably read my review of Inception. If so, you obviously know how much I enjoyed that movie. What you probably don’t know about (because I haven’t reviewed it here) is my nearly equal love for another movie that, when I first saw it, changed my viewing of myself as an actor, writer, and future film director. This film was Fight Club. In case anybody doesn’t know, Fight Club is actually, though young, considered by many to be a classic (although there are many who would contradict that statement). It came out during a time when being against “political correctness” was far off and went in that exact direction, defying all that Man, at the time, had accepted as “right.”

I don’t want to spend this entire opening talking about the movie I’ll be reviewing in a moment, so let’s get started. Two of my favorite films are about to duke it out. This is: VERSUS.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Okay, so let’s face it, as much as we want to deny it the first impression is the one that counts. People want a movie to have a fantastic opening, so that they can tell all of their friends about it. Isn’t it so cool to be able to do that, to just walk up to a buddy and let those first few minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, or Casino Royale roll off your tongue? It gets them pumped to go see it, and gets you pumped to see it again. The opening scenes of a film are crucial for Man to be entertained. So which of these two films has the better opening scene?

All right, let’s start with Fight Club. As great as it is to watch the end of the film at the beginning, if the ending is made awesome by the crescendo leading up to it, don’t do it. If the ending of a film can’t stand alone as chilling or impressive, it shouldn’t be done. Don’t get me wrong, the opening of Fight Club is fine. It justs feels a bit slow and sleepy to me. It’s funny, but not exactly as awesome as the opening of the opponent.

The opening scen of Inception is intense. The music and atmosphere are established right away and feeling of darkness and mystery overcome you immediately when it begins (or at least that’s how it was with me). Even though you don’t know what’s happening, you’re hooked, and when Cobb and Arthur are pulling of a heist in a collapsing dream, it’s pretty cool. Isn’t it ironic that both movies I picked begin at the end? Or is that coincidental? Ah, whatever. Hopefully some grammar Nazi will show up and correct me.

Anyhow, the point goes to Inception this time around. The opening was just more fulfilling.

CAST: Okay, now let’s get down to what actually may be the hardest decision in the whole article: the cast. The reason it will be so hard: these were two amazing casts. I want that clarified before I say anything negative about them. With that said, let’s do Inception first this time.

Holy Christ was the casting director for this film awesome. I always for some reason get ticked when I see Leonardo DiCaprio doing a good job, but whatever. He was pretty awesome in this film, creating a strong main character who, though conflicted, certainly has good intentions. Some people may say that they predicted the choice Cobb (DiCaprio) would make near the film’s end when having a certain meeting I won’t spoil here, but I honestly couldn’t tell what he was going to do. He seemed very split between both possible decisions, and I was real happy about that. The supporting cast was great too, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt (playing Arthur) being my favorite of them. He was spot on when playing the paragon member of the “dream team.” (Oh God, did I just say that?) Ellen Page as Ariadne was good, mostly playing a character who was much like the audience: curious and wanting to understand what was happening between Cobb and his subconscious. The rest of the cast was great as well, mixing in enough comedic relief while still remaining serious throughout the picture.

Now, Fight Club’s cast is a bit trickier to judge against the opponent’s. For one thing, it’s smaller. It instantly has a disadvantage now. However, having one of the greatest actors of the past two decades, Edward Norton, kind of helps. Oh, as well as Brad Pitt. Even though he has that whole, “he’s just playing Brad Pitt as a psychopath,” thing going on, he’s still a good actor. So, did the cast do well here? Hell yeah they did! Dude, I don’t like “geeking out” mid-review, but Ed Norton as an insomniac cubical worker is probably one of the most hilarious things in the world. Every line that came out of his mouth either had me cracking up or had me going, “Damn!” It was awesome. Also, I don’t care if it’s just Brad Pitt playing Brad Pitt, his delivery was spot on. Everything he did in this movie as Tyler Durden makes him one of the most memorable characters in cinema. A phenomenal performance behind a phenomenal character. Now, about Helena Bonham Carter. Look, I know she’s supposed to be a psycho (and don’t get me wrong, she did a fine job as well), but there’s one thing that’s off. She started out as the craziest person in the whole movie, and then all of the sudden by the end she’s telling Ed Norton that he’s certifiably insane? What? Maybe I’m being picky, but that really did bug me. However, it didn’t take away from the quality of the cast one bit. And Robert Paulson, we will miss you (inside joke: go see the movie).

The point goes to Fight Club this time around folks. Congratulations!

DIALOGUE: What’s a good movie without lines you can’t repeat to your friends until they want to split your head open like ripe melon? I’ll tell you what it is: Wall-E. Anyhow, now that we have that bad joke out of the way, we may proceed.

Fight Club’s dialogue is some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever heard (as I mentioned earlier). It’s also some of the creepiest. Look, let me just link you to a scene I noted on Facebook and you’ll see what I mean: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=182516301785534. Or how about this scene, also very interesting in terms of its darkness: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=182518058452025. You see? Clever, but definitely dark. The script is crafted in such a way that an idiot can’t like it, which is a good thing. There are plenty of lines that are memorable, such as the all time favorite, “The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.”

The script for Inception was good, but I’m not sure it was better. In fact, in my opinion, it wasn’t. It was definitely poetic and has a lot of style and humor to it, but Fight Club’s script is on a whole different echelon. It is practically a thesis, to be honest. Therefore the point goes to the soap maker this round (another inside joke).

DIRECTION: Christopher Nolan has never, as far as I’ve seen, done a bad film. Memento was good, The Dark Knight was good, and his latest masterpiece is a great work of art. The set pieces are stunning, the effects are beautiful, and the way the tale of Cobb is told is fun and exciting all the way through. When the “dream team” (ugh…) finally begins their big mission halfway through the film, you can feel the intensity of the job they’re about to pull off just in the way they look at each other. It’s really fascinating. And of course who could forget that ending. Seriously Chris, that was just priceless. I hope you never tell us what happened, so that it’ll always be awesome.

Fight Club was directed by David Fincher. For those of you who don’t know, he’s the guy who directed The Curious Case of Forest Gu– oh, I’m mean Benjamin Button, oh, and some movie about Facebook or something. It probably sucked. Anyhow, he definitely did a nice job with Fight Club. It was very dark and very tense, but maybe a little too dark. Sometimes I wished, while watching it, that it would lighten up a bit. I like dark films, but this was pushing past Watchmen level at some points.

Because of the above stated, I’m afraid the direction award goes to Inception. Sorry Fincher. Maybe your movie about that girl with the dragon tattoo will be less dreary.

Okay, it looks like we have a tie! Wait, no, that can’t be right. There has to be one more thing, something so important it overshadows everything known to Man concerning life, the universe and everything…

THE STORY: The story of a film is generally pretty basic in nature, and then elaborated on by the presentation of that story. Inception has not only an elaborate presentation, but an elaborate tale as well. The story of the mind being the scene of a crime has so many layers that it’s often hard (for some viewers) to keep track of it. Oftentimes I’ve been told that nobody can get it the first time through, even though I can attest to that statement being completely false, considering I did. I’ll admit I noticed new details after I saw it five more times (don’t judge me), but to be fair it didn’t change dramatically.

Fight Club’s story doesn’t really pick up until the meeting with Tyler Durden, and though a well presented tale you don’t really understand it until very near to its climax. That’s how it was for me, anyway. I love the movie, don’t get me wrong, but there’s just some stuff that comes up in the story that isn’t worth it until the end. And even though it kind of works with this film, for me some things didn’t. I’m trying not to spoil anything so I won’t give my one perfect example of this, but anybody who has seen it probably remember’s the scene in the car when Tyler and Ed’s character have that argument. After seeing the ending, does that scene make any sense? No, it doesn’t. And so the tie is broken. Inception wins the bout!

FINAL TOTAL

FIGHT CLUB: 2               INCEPTION: 3

What a ****up.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to return for more!

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Poem of the Year

9 Jan

This is something I recently saw (and loved) while reading The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. I have decided, after reading it, that it shall be the poem of this year that shall judge what happens throughout this year and shall be a vision of what is yet to come. All that stuff aside though, this is cool stuff (in my opinion). Here it is:

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king.

That is from the first of J.R.R. Tolkien’s fine trilogy (well, it was six books if you’re being technical). May the year ahead be grand, and may it bring good fortune to those who deserve it.

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